Okay, he hasn't been a boy for maybe 50 years or so. I don't know exactly how old he is, but I first met Su in June of last year. My church takes dinner now and then to a place similar to the R*nald McDonald House here in our city. This is a charity organization that supplies a free place to live for people with critical illnesses that require long-term, in-patient treatment.
That night, we served the food, and then spread out to sit and get to talk with the patients and their families. Most are out-of-towners, in a hospital in a strange town, with no friends to speak of as they go through this hard time. I sat at the table with Su and his wife, Eejie, along with two other people from my church and a younger Korean lady. Su and Eejie are originally from Shanghai,China, but have lived in New York for quite some time. Su has terminal liver cancer. We learned that the couple was Buddhist, though I suspected it was more cultural than faith-based. During our time together, we shared our hope for eternal life through Jesus' death on the cross. Eejie had many questions as we shared the gospel and we answered them to the best of our ability. The Korean lady at our table was critically ill herself, but a believer! She was able to speak of her peace and joy, even through great pain and hardship. Eejie was very inquisitive, but there was a barrier of unbelief there. We could only pray that a seed would take root in her heart. We were able to pray with Eejie for both her and her husband, whom had been told he had maybe two weeks to live.
Fast forward to early November. We are back at the hospital, me leading a small group of women this time. There are only 8 of us, and I can only pray that God will show up in a big way because I'm not even sure that we will have enough food to go around. I prayed a LOT that day, just that God would show up and bless our time there. We serve the food (just enough!) and I send the girls out to sit among the patients and their families. I have seen during the times that we have gone, that as much as they appreciate the different churches and organizations bringing food to them (and they truly are SO thankful), that what really blesses them is having someone take the time to sit down and talk to them: to laugh, and just have a time of fellowship. They need to be loved on and to have someone care about what they are going through!
The last table without one of our girls was an older Asian couple. I asked if I could sit down, and they said "Sure". It took me about thirty seconds to realize that it was Eejie and Su!! He was still alive and kicking! They remembered me and we ate together, making small talk. Su eventually excused himself and went up to his room. Eejie stayed, and again I got the opportunity to share Jesus with her. Another girl from my church, Tina, joined us and we just continued to talk about how good God is and how Jesus is the only way to the Father; the only One who rose from the dead, showing power over death and therefore proving that He could deliver US from death as well! Eejie asked many questions, and we got to share how God had changed us and how we saw Him moving in us and those around us. It was a good time and a good talk. We prayed with her, for her husband, and I was so, so grateful for one, the fact that Su was still alive, and two, that we got another chance to tell them about salvation through Christ! I asked Eejie if I could have her phone number, and maybe we could go get coffee sometime. I told her I would call her soon. I thought it would be nice to get her out of that place for a little fresh air.
My friend Hannah has such an amazing heart for lost people, and she jumped on the chance to come pick up Eejie with me. We went to a little local coffee place, and then walked around some of the gorgeous neighborhood of Church Hill. We talked about many things, but although we did mention the Lord in regard to our lives, I didn't want to "push" Jesus on her as hard as I had been the two previous times. Hannah had other ideas, and we had an hour long conversation on the corner. Eejie had many more questions, but she didn't tire of talking about "the Jesus". She sincerely wanted to know if we had truly been changed by God. She recognized that sometimes she had negative emotions and reactions that she had absolutely no control over, and she didn't like that. We said that, yes, Jesus could really change her, and though even as Christians we still get upset, we lean on Christ and continually repent of our bad thoughts, habits, and behaviors. We grow more like Him and the sin nature is lessened. She was interested, and she even thumbed through Hannah's Bible. She was amazed that we read it so much.
Hannah and I both just loved this spunky little Chinese lady, and prayed for her and her husband often. The next time we went back to see her, Hannah brought her gifts: a Mandarin Bible and a book called "We would see Jesus", also in Eejie's heart language! We stayed at the hospital this time and went through the book of John, and also Phillipians with her, trying to continue to answer questions as they came up through the words in the Scripture. It was awesome! We told her to read it to Su every day, and she said she would.
The next week when we went back to visit, taking our Malaysian brother Julian. Eejie was quoting the Bible to us, saying "It says if there are two or three gathered, He will be here! Is He here right now?" What a joy it was to see her so engaged and captivated by the words in the Bible! We settled in to study John 9, and she really listened, taking it all in and again, asking truly relevant and insightful questions. She understood! Julian was able to translate deeper meanings in Mandarin, and I think that was very helpful. Hannah asked her what was keeping her from believing that Jesus was the true God, and she said "Not yet, I need to learn more", because the Bible is big and she has only read bits and pieces. I told her that in the five years I've been a Christian, I still don't know it all! What is important is believing that Christ's death was sufficient payment for our sins, and then turning from our own ways as we love God and seek to serve Him with our lives. The rest you have a lifetime to learn! She was still noncommittal, which was disappointing, because for some reason I had a feeling that TODAY was when she would be saved. Julian prayed as our time drew to a close, and when he was done, we sat up straight, and then Eejie said "I say couple words." She bowed her head and said " God, thank you for these friends. Please save my soul and forgive for ..(Chinese word, Julian translates "sins"). Please help Su. Amen." Hannah and I looked up at each other with tears in our eyes, and as soon as we got into the bathroom we exclaimed "Did she just say the sinners' prayer?? On her own? Unprompted?" She had. As crazy as it was, as little as she knew, she asked Jesus to save her and He says when you believe in Him and ask Him to save you , He will! I know that we gained a new sister that day!
We went to a Christmas party later that week at the hospital thrown by another church. We got to eat with both Eejie and Su, and at one point Su told us that we were "God's messengers". I knew that Eejie had been faithfully reading the Bible to Su each day, but he was still a Buddhist, and even told me that night that his mother had been a very sincere Buddhist, and was very nice and kind to people, and "is it not the same as Christian"? I told him gently that though there are definitely good moral aspects to different religions, because Jesus proved He was God, and says there is no other way, than Buddhism could not be true. He nodded and looked thoughtful. Before we left, we made plans to go to the Chinese church on the coming Sunday morning. Both Eejie and Su agreed to come.
Hannah and I didn't understand anything(other than the English phrases "Jack-in-the-box" and what sounded like "strategic meetings") because the whole service was Mandarin. It was a Christmas message, and Su listened intently while Eejie fidgeted. The pastor at Chinese church was very kind and got their contact information, offering to pick them up for Bible Study on Friday nights. As we drove to lunch afterwards, we were talking about their departure from Richmond at the end of the year, and how much we would miss them. They planned to go back to New York, and then to Shanghai for a couple weeks before returning to Virginia. Su told us from the back seat that he would never forget "Angel and Haynah" because now he is not afraid to die and he has God in his heart. WHAT? Hannah and I looked at each other, again with tears in our eyes. Had God been so gracious as to allow us to see both of them saved?
We dropped them off, and I promised to come back to the hospital that night for yet another Christmas party (those people eat like kings, I tell you!). I was tired, but I wanted to make SURE that Su understood the gospel. After sharing with him one last time, and hearing his responses (knowing that Jesus has to be first in our lives! That Holy Spirit has been so busy!)I believe that he does. Hallelujah is the only phrase that fits!
God had answered my prayers to see conversions like they did in the early church, where the message of Christ changes lives and hearts! I have dealt so long with witnessing to cultural Christians, who don't understand what following Christ looks like, and may come to church once in a while but see no need to let Him actually be Lord in their lives. The power of the Word of God pulling this beautiful couple from death into everlasting life has rocked my world, and I have a feeling I am going to be a bit of an evangelism junkie from now on. It is beautiful to live like Christ, but what saves people is knowing that without Him they will be in Hell, and through His death He has made a way for us to be right before God. Jesus saves! Praise God He let me see that when He moves, big things happen!
Be encouraged as you share with your friends and family! He is able to soften even the hardest heart! Keep praying and keep loving and keep speaking truth! He is able!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
New
2010 was not exactly a fun year for me. It was a "buckle down" sort of year. In 2010 I:
1. Got my heart broken by the man I thought I was going to marry (it's complicated, but he was a friend that I fell head over heels for).
2. Drew close to the Lord and leaned on Him through the pain. I also have learned to SPEAK the Gospel..like the actual death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is not enough for me to live like a Christian. People may notice something different about me, but the Gospel of Jesus Christ is what saves, not me being "good".
3. Went on my first mission trip evah, to Diquini, Haiti, where I met the people you see on the news. They turned from sad cases in far off places to smiling faces who rejoiced in God's graces..Don't know why the rhyme hit me but I went with it. It was good to be able to love on people there. They are normal people who live normal lives..their normalcy is WAY different than ours though.
4. Had a man fall for me and just wasn't that into him, which sucked because he is amazing and almost everything I could tell you that I want in a man, minus the living in another country and pledging undying love after one whole week... But.. my heart said no.
5. Decided to go back to school for Christian Counseling. Sat in my house for three months doing schoolwork. Got all A's. Debating continuing because I am not a fan of Psychology, and really what I love to do I should be doing for God anyway. A pastor friend of mine put into words "You are trying to turn your Christianity into a vocation." Those words rang true to me.
6. Decided to stop using my credit card and therefore do not spend money on eating out or movies or unnecessary stuff anymore. Being responsible is not that fun.
7. Began attending an International Prayer Group, to pray for our unsaved friends from other religions/backgrounds. As I get more involved with things of this nature, I have felt the blatant hatred that the enemy has for me. Not pleasant, but my soul rests in the fact that God is bigger.
8. Led a women's Bible study with my dear friend Julia and saw one of my girls fall into sin, which ultimately led to her leaving our church against my counsel. That was hard. We have, overall, had a great few months though and I have gotten a chance to get close to some amazing women!
9. Made a new friend named Hannah and was able to partner with her in ministering to an elderly Buddhist couple.
10. Read a ton of books. Favorite so far is "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.
In 2011, my prayer is not necessarily for any one thing to happen. I desire to know God much more intimately for who He is..to love and delight in Him..not my work for Him or what He is doing or what He is giving..but to love and worship Him. And then I need to lose 20 pounds.
Angela
1. Got my heart broken by the man I thought I was going to marry (it's complicated, but he was a friend that I fell head over heels for).
2. Drew close to the Lord and leaned on Him through the pain. I also have learned to SPEAK the Gospel..like the actual death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is not enough for me to live like a Christian. People may notice something different about me, but the Gospel of Jesus Christ is what saves, not me being "good".
3. Went on my first mission trip evah, to Diquini, Haiti, where I met the people you see on the news. They turned from sad cases in far off places to smiling faces who rejoiced in God's graces..Don't know why the rhyme hit me but I went with it. It was good to be able to love on people there. They are normal people who live normal lives..their normalcy is WAY different than ours though.
4. Had a man fall for me and just wasn't that into him, which sucked because he is amazing and almost everything I could tell you that I want in a man, minus the living in another country and pledging undying love after one whole week... But.. my heart said no.
5. Decided to go back to school for Christian Counseling. Sat in my house for three months doing schoolwork. Got all A's. Debating continuing because I am not a fan of Psychology, and really what I love to do I should be doing for God anyway. A pastor friend of mine put into words "You are trying to turn your Christianity into a vocation." Those words rang true to me.
6. Decided to stop using my credit card and therefore do not spend money on eating out or movies or unnecessary stuff anymore. Being responsible is not that fun.
7. Began attending an International Prayer Group, to pray for our unsaved friends from other religions/backgrounds. As I get more involved with things of this nature, I have felt the blatant hatred that the enemy has for me. Not pleasant, but my soul rests in the fact that God is bigger.
8. Led a women's Bible study with my dear friend Julia and saw one of my girls fall into sin, which ultimately led to her leaving our church against my counsel. That was hard. We have, overall, had a great few months though and I have gotten a chance to get close to some amazing women!
9. Made a new friend named Hannah and was able to partner with her in ministering to an elderly Buddhist couple.
10. Read a ton of books. Favorite so far is "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan.
In 2011, my prayer is not necessarily for any one thing to happen. I desire to know God much more intimately for who He is..to love and delight in Him..not my work for Him or what He is doing or what He is giving..but to love and worship Him. And then I need to lose 20 pounds.
Angela
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
AAhhh-Men!!
This is a video of us attending a Haitian church service! We were told that Haitians didn't approve of dancing..haha!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Light on a Hill: Day 1
The home with the big green yard is Light on a Hill
Morning comes early in Haiti. The sun wakes up around 5:30, and so do most Haitians. Since electricity is a luxury, not a standard convenience, people utilize the daylight hours as much as possible.
Our first morning in Haiti was on a Sunday. The medical team went off to a church nearby, but because of transportation conflicts, we were to stay at the compound, hold our own worship service, and then leave for Light on a Hill, which is where we were to spend the remainder of our time in service. Worship was great. Justin, the younger guy from the medical team, had talked with his dad and was going to spend the week he was in Haiti staying with us. He would see his team during the day as they would commute to Light on a Hill to perform medical services to the community there Monday through Wednesday, but would spend the night there with us while they went back. After our little service, we loaded our bags back up on the Land Rover and headed up, up, up into the mountains of Carrefour to a little place called Diquini, where the church plant called Light on a Hill is situated.
Justin, whom we affectionately called "Number Nine" because he was our ninth team member, and Reggie reading the Bible on the roof.
We passed roadside markets on the way, most just people with their wares spread out on the ground. There were huge piles of clothes, mostly donations that were not being used. I bristled a little at this..but think of the good the money could do them. Some of the things they can't use for themselves could help them to feed their family. That old shirt you never wear can do much more good there than sitting in the back of your closet. We climbed steadily up the mountainside, passing homes of all variety..stone, sheet metal, tent. Many of the homes had UNICEF tarps stretched overtop to compensate for roofs lost during the quake. People were walking up and down the hill, many carrying things on their heads, such as big water jugs or baskets of produce. I really rival their balance and neck muscles!
Light on a Hill was, not really a surprise, because I had no idea what to expect, but like nothing I could have imagined. It is a big house built of concrete, two stories tall but very wide, and with a flat roof that has lots of room and a great view. The back yard is on the edge of a big hill, and you can see all the houses/tents below straight to the ocean (or bay) with mountains to the right. There is a big front yard with trees and grass and a gate stretching all the way around. Right outside that gate is a tent city, which is a community made of mostly temporary tent shelters. These people are waiting for new homes to be built because they lost their homes in the earthquake. There is no electricity, no running water. It is utterly different than anything I've ever seen before.
Also outside the gates is the church. It is a simple, open structure made of bamboo poles and covered by blue tarp. This is where services are held Sunday morning and night, and several nights throughout the week. They use the generator from the house at Light on a Hill to provide electricity for light and the sound machines.
There were tents set up around the main house at LOAH. These were for the young men who were a part of the church plant, those being discipled by Pastor Junior, who is in charge there. They also housed the translators, Anel and Reggie, who would spend each day with us as we served in Haiti.
Anel and Reggie
The pastor at Light on a Hill's name is Junior. He is all of 27 years old. His dad is still a practicing voodoo priest. When Junior became a Christian, he was kicked out of his house, and his parents told him they wouldn't pay for his schooling. Junior told them that God would provide. He moved out, and was adopted by a missionary family who paid for ALL of his schooling. He trusted in the Lord, and the Lord provided.
Me and Pastor Junior
The girls and I set up pur cots and mosquito netting in our downstairs room, and took in the beauty that was Haiti. The next day was going to be hard work, but with God's hand in it we knew it would be beautiful.
Friday, August 20, 2010
On Haiti and God
The Cast:
On July 24 I boarded a plane bound for Port Au Prince, Haiti with seven other people from my church: Erin: a 26 year old woman whose life is devoted in service to the Lord and who needs to get a record deal; Josh:31, a goofy Chris Farley type who loves God and a good laugh; Julian: a twenty year old Malaysian kid who takes both his walk with the Lord and the English language literally; Luke: Eighteen and bright, but got lost in the airport within the first 20 minutes; Karen: a forty-eight year old mother of two girls, one of whom is expecting her first child.This is Karen's first mission trip, also; Mike and Amanda: a married couple in their mid-twenties. Mike is an elder at our church and loves baseball and playing the drums. Amanda is sweet and pretty, and teaches physical education at a private school. She will also kick your butt on the volleyball court any day. Then there's me: 30, still working in a restaurant and finally going for a degree in Christian counseling starting this semester. Hilarity and tears were sure to ensue.
The plot:
On January 12, 2010 a devastating earthquake hit the already impoverished nation of Haiti, which is the western third of the island called Hispaniola in the West Indies. Haiti has an interesting and violent past: they are the only nation besides the US to gain independence from outside rule and they also dedicated their country to Satan two hundred and six years ago. They are the poorest nation in the western hemisphere, and this beautiful island is now broken even worse than it was before and seems literally to be God-forsaken.
Some of Haiti's history as taken from:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/1202857.stm
1492 - Christopher Columbus lands and names the island Hispaniola, or Little Spain.
1496 - Spanish establish first European settlement in western hemisphere at Santo Domingo, now capital of Dominican Republic.
1697 - Spain cedes western part of Hispaniola to France, and this becomes Haiti, or Land of Mountains.
1801 - A former black slave who became a guerrilla leader, Toussaint Louverture, conquers Haiti, abolishing slavery and proclaiming himself governor-general of an autonomous government over all Hispaniola.
1802 - French force led by Napoleon's brother-in-law, Charles Leclerc, fails to conquer Haitian interior.
Independence
1804 - Haiti becomes independent; former slave Jean-Jacques Dessalines declares himself emperor.
The next two hundred years of rule are very tumultuos: leaders are deposed or killed, new dictators rise up or the people elect leaders..but it doesn't seem that they stay in power very long.
This year:
2010 January - Up to 300,000 people are killed when a magnitude 7.0 earthquake hits the capital Port-au-Prince and its wider region - the worst in Haiti in 200 years.
US takes control of the main airport to ensure orderly arrival of aid flights.
2010 March - International donors pledge $5.3 billion for post-quake reconstruction at a donor conference at UN headquarters.
2010 July - Popular anger grows over slow pace of reconstruction six months after quake, aid workers report.
The website I referenced above also claims that approximately 90% of Haitians practice voodoo. Every single president in Haiti has practiced voodoo. The spiritual darkness is very in-your-face and overwhelming. People worship evil. It is a scary place.
The first thing I noticed as we were flying over the Dominican Republic after our layover in San Juan, PR was the tiny rash bumps coming out on my right arm. I hadn't even set foot on Haitian soil yet and I had somehow caught an infectious disease already. I also took in the deep green of the DR, and then the barrenness of Haiti as we flew over parts that had been deforested.
Normally, when I've flown in the past, I love to take in all the buildings and beauty of the place I am descending into. Not so this time. There were no skyscrapers, no city waiting for us. We got closer to the ground and saw tiny lean to houses and desolate farm land."What have we gotten ourselves into" was the question at the front of my mind, but I was here for two weeks, like it or not. I hoped I'd like it.
The departures "warehouse" is the only way I can describe the place where we went through customs and picked up our bags. One huge room with people swarming all around. It was an airplane hangar, now that I think of it. A huge, undecorated airplane hangar. We left out of a huge garage door and ten men tried to pry our suitcases out of our hands saying "Let me help you". They practically wrench your bags away from you and then demand to be tipped for their "service". Luckily, we had been warned about this and answered "No, mesi" a hundred times. Only Erin's bag was won into the hands of the "skycap" and he got a couple dollars.
We were met by three missionaries who had come in Baptist Land Rovers to pick us up. One of the missionaries, Kim, was my roommate for four months in Richmond and helped set up all the details of our trip. We threw our bags on top of one of the vehicles and waited as the two missionary men, Parker and David, went to fetch the other team they were picking up; a medical team from Illinois.We waited with Kim, catching up on her first three weeks in Haiti, and saying "no" to people begging through the fence around the airport parking lot. About forty minutes later, the medical team, minus one bag of equipment, was loaded in the other Land Rover and we set off for the main compound in Port-Au-Prince. This is where we would spend our first night.
The compound was a large gated piece of land down a side street in the city. There is a small house with an office, kitchen, and two bathrooms, and tents dotting the property, which is where the teams that come in to serve short term stay. We set up our cots and sat awhile, then ate a delicious dinner of rice and beef, mangoes, bananas, and a delectable soda the likes of which i have never had called "Fruit Champagne". It is orange in color and fruity and vanilla-y in taste. Loved it. After dinner we reapplied our various forms of bug repellent (I used Deet 45), we gathered around the picnic table and sang worship songs. It gets dark very early in Haiti (around 6 or 6:30) and the sun rises at about 5:30 am, so we used flashlights to see our song books and Josh played his guitar. A young guy by the name of Justin who was with the medical team joined us. His team was comprised of his Dad, who is a dentist, and other people all over the age of 40. He is 19, which is way closer to our team's demographic than his.
We were all beat from long night and day of travel, so we willingly went to bed early that night ( I'm guessing around nine). I settled into a tent with Erin, Kim, and another missionary named Abby. I could not find my earplugs anywhere, which slightly concerned me, but I figured I was so wiped out that I could probably sleep through anything. This turned out to be an incorrect hypothesis.
That first night I was awakened by the sound of voodoo drums. It was dark, and all that was between me and the great outdoors was the thin tent fabric. I knew the voodoo people weren't in the compound, but I have no idea how close they were. It was a chilling sound. My heart began to beat very loudly and I knew I needed to just pray and pray and pray.
God brought Psalm 23 to mind. The psalm about God protecting His sheep even through the "Valley of the Shadow of Death", and that we are to "fear no evil". As I prayed, God comforted me with the fact that although I was in a place where there was some decidedly scary and evil things taking place, I was safe in His care. He protects those He loves. I was able to fall back asleep, and slept peacefully through the night.
More to follow..
On July 24 I boarded a plane bound for Port Au Prince, Haiti with seven other people from my church: Erin: a 26 year old woman whose life is devoted in service to the Lord and who needs to get a record deal; Josh:31, a goofy Chris Farley type who loves God and a good laugh; Julian: a twenty year old Malaysian kid who takes both his walk with the Lord and the English language literally; Luke: Eighteen and bright, but got lost in the airport within the first 20 minutes; Karen: a forty-eight year old mother of two girls, one of whom is expecting her first child.This is Karen's first mission trip, also; Mike and Amanda: a married couple in their mid-twenties. Mike is an elder at our church and loves baseball and playing the drums. Amanda is sweet and pretty, and teaches physical education at a private school. She will also kick your butt on the volleyball court any day. Then there's me: 30, still working in a restaurant and finally going for a degree in Christian counseling starting this semester. Hilarity and tears were sure to ensue.
The plot:
On January 12, 2010 a devastating earthquake hit the already impoverished nation of Haiti, which is the western third of the island called Hispaniola in the West Indies. Haiti has an interesting and violent past: they are the only nation besides the US to gain independence from outside rule and they also dedicated their country to Satan two hundred and six years ago. They are the poorest nation in the western hemisphere, and this beautiful island is now broken even worse than it was before and seems literally to be God-forsaken.
Some of Haiti's history as taken from:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/1202857.stm
1492 - Christopher Columbus lands and names the island Hispaniola, or Little Spain.
1496 - Spanish establish first European settlement in western hemisphere at Santo Domingo, now capital of Dominican Republic.
1697 - Spain cedes western part of Hispaniola to France, and this becomes Haiti, or Land of Mountains.
1801 - A former black slave who became a guerrilla leader, Toussaint Louverture, conquers Haiti, abolishing slavery and proclaiming himself governor-general of an autonomous government over all Hispaniola.
1802 - French force led by Napoleon's brother-in-law, Charles Leclerc, fails to conquer Haitian interior.
Independence
1804 - Haiti becomes independent; former slave Jean-Jacques Dessalines declares himself emperor.
The next two hundred years of rule are very tumultuos: leaders are deposed or killed, new dictators rise up or the people elect leaders..but it doesn't seem that they stay in power very long.
This year:
2010 January - Up to 300,000 people are killed when a magnitude 7.0 earthquake hits the capital Port-au-Prince and its wider region - the worst in Haiti in 200 years.
US takes control of the main airport to ensure orderly arrival of aid flights.
2010 March - International donors pledge $5.3 billion for post-quake reconstruction at a donor conference at UN headquarters.
2010 July - Popular anger grows over slow pace of reconstruction six months after quake, aid workers report.
The website I referenced above also claims that approximately 90% of Haitians practice voodoo. Every single president in Haiti has practiced voodoo. The spiritual darkness is very in-your-face and overwhelming. People worship evil. It is a scary place.
The first thing I noticed as we were flying over the Dominican Republic after our layover in San Juan, PR was the tiny rash bumps coming out on my right arm. I hadn't even set foot on Haitian soil yet and I had somehow caught an infectious disease already. I also took in the deep green of the DR, and then the barrenness of Haiti as we flew over parts that had been deforested.
Normally, when I've flown in the past, I love to take in all the buildings and beauty of the place I am descending into. Not so this time. There were no skyscrapers, no city waiting for us. We got closer to the ground and saw tiny lean to houses and desolate farm land."What have we gotten ourselves into" was the question at the front of my mind, but I was here for two weeks, like it or not. I hoped I'd like it.
The departures "warehouse" is the only way I can describe the place where we went through customs and picked up our bags. One huge room with people swarming all around. It was an airplane hangar, now that I think of it. A huge, undecorated airplane hangar. We left out of a huge garage door and ten men tried to pry our suitcases out of our hands saying "Let me help you". They practically wrench your bags away from you and then demand to be tipped for their "service". Luckily, we had been warned about this and answered "No, mesi" a hundred times. Only Erin's bag was won into the hands of the "skycap" and he got a couple dollars.
We were met by three missionaries who had come in Baptist Land Rovers to pick us up. One of the missionaries, Kim, was my roommate for four months in Richmond and helped set up all the details of our trip. We threw our bags on top of one of the vehicles and waited as the two missionary men, Parker and David, went to fetch the other team they were picking up; a medical team from Illinois.We waited with Kim, catching up on her first three weeks in Haiti, and saying "no" to people begging through the fence around the airport parking lot. About forty minutes later, the medical team, minus one bag of equipment, was loaded in the other Land Rover and we set off for the main compound in Port-Au-Prince. This is where we would spend our first night.
The compound was a large gated piece of land down a side street in the city. There is a small house with an office, kitchen, and two bathrooms, and tents dotting the property, which is where the teams that come in to serve short term stay. We set up our cots and sat awhile, then ate a delicious dinner of rice and beef, mangoes, bananas, and a delectable soda the likes of which i have never had called "Fruit Champagne". It is orange in color and fruity and vanilla-y in taste. Loved it. After dinner we reapplied our various forms of bug repellent (I used Deet 45), we gathered around the picnic table and sang worship songs. It gets dark very early in Haiti (around 6 or 6:30) and the sun rises at about 5:30 am, so we used flashlights to see our song books and Josh played his guitar. A young guy by the name of Justin who was with the medical team joined us. His team was comprised of his Dad, who is a dentist, and other people all over the age of 40. He is 19, which is way closer to our team's demographic than his.
We were all beat from long night and day of travel, so we willingly went to bed early that night ( I'm guessing around nine). I settled into a tent with Erin, Kim, and another missionary named Abby. I could not find my earplugs anywhere, which slightly concerned me, but I figured I was so wiped out that I could probably sleep through anything. This turned out to be an incorrect hypothesis.
That first night I was awakened by the sound of voodoo drums. It was dark, and all that was between me and the great outdoors was the thin tent fabric. I knew the voodoo people weren't in the compound, but I have no idea how close they were. It was a chilling sound. My heart began to beat very loudly and I knew I needed to just pray and pray and pray.
God brought Psalm 23 to mind. The psalm about God protecting His sheep even through the "Valley of the Shadow of Death", and that we are to "fear no evil". As I prayed, God comforted me with the fact that although I was in a place where there was some decidedly scary and evil things taking place, I was safe in His care. He protects those He loves. I was able to fall back asleep, and slept peacefully through the night.
More to follow..
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Matters of the Heart
"We are more able to stop the sun in its course or make rivers run uphill as by our own skill and power to rule and order our hearts" -Puritan John Flavell
I have trusted God with my life. I know that Jesus came two thousand years ago to die for my sins, and I know that only through that death and resurrection will I be able to stand righteous before God. So, I have believed. My life has changed direction, and I now desire to be like Christ. I have relinquished power over my dating life, my heathen lifestyle, and my day in and day out activities. Christ is my focus. God's kingdom is far more beautiful than anything I can obtain by my own power. I am a Christian. I am saved, and I am secure.
I have made it through big time temptation, and I have been declared victorious.So, why, WHY, do I lose my temper when I don't feel like I am being respected? Why do I get so easily annoyed and impatient with people, and why am I anxious when I don't have a good night at work? I don't feel very Christ-like when these things happen. In fact, I feel so ugly on the inside that I wonder how in the world can I be regenerated? But, I know I am..I have seen my desires change and I have seen my life re-orient to be lived for God. So, where is the disconnect? Am I faithful in big things but not in the small?
God has been working to reveal some answers to me in this area of my life. It has been really frustrating..not matter how many times I say "ok, I'm not going to complain today because that's not being a good witness" or "I am going to love people no matter what today", it never seems to work. I can hold it together for a little while, but then I just end up not being able to keep it up and I feel horrible about myself. Like a failure.
So enter book: "You Can Change"(God's transforming power for our sinful behavior and negative emotions)" by Tim Chester, who co-authored another favorite of mine, "Total Church". I would like to share a couple of key quotes I have come across so far.
"Our Christian lives began when we received the Spirit by believing in Christ crucified, not when we finally managed to observe the law. It's foolish to think that we can now take over finish the job through human effort. It's not just that trying to live by laws and disciplines is useless- it's a backwards step-which ends up undermining grace and hope."
"When the crowd asks Jesus what God expects of them he replies "This is the only work God wants from you. Believe in the one he has sent."
I think I finally understand this! It is not just believing He was God then, or in the future, but trusting in His power to metamorphasize ME- not by my strength but by the continual realization that I am completely dependent on His strength and grace- EVERY DAY- Believing in this SENT one- I know He is Lord- but I have been so disappointed in my heart- it yearns to be like Christ but fails miserably- I need faith in everyday things- HIS power- mini-miracles of victory and surrender only by the working of the Holy Spirit. This is freedom. This is "the only work" God wants because it is the only way- we will not change from our own efforts- it is IMPOSSIBLE. I have been trusting in God only for outcomes, not for the day-in, day-out grind of Christian life. I have not asked, not continually, for strength and wisdom in the million small decisions and reactions I face everyday-the decisions and reactions that shape bigger days and the way that others see Christ through me. I have realized my ineptitude on a grand scale but neglected to address the gross selfishness and dissatisfaction in them minutia of life. I thought I could handle them on my own..but I CAN'T. Not like Christ. I can only do them my way.
So, it is time to address my heart. It is time to see where I am not loving God, where I am not believing his Word..because if "ALL THINGS" work together for the good of those who are loved and are called according to his purpose (Jer 29:11), then I need to trust God. I believe that He rose from the dead, but I don't expect that He can help me be kind to those who are not kind to me. I believe that He has the BEST plan for my life, but that complaining is okay because I don't deserve to have a bad day (surely, THAT can't be in His plan). My sin here has been abiding with small rebellions and also with unforgiveness..for myself and for others. My heart is at its core legalistic and as long as I haven't been "sinning" I am doing ok, even though my attitude may stink. But if I do mess up, boy do I feel it. I haven't understood grace, or the fact that I am at best a wretched sinner and can't be like Christ on my own, not only as I have acknowledged on the big scale, but in the tiniest upsets or interactions..I need GRACE. I need it for myself and for others. I need to understand that I'm not a sinner because I sin, but I sin because I'm a sinner. It is a fatal disease, and until I leave this earthly vessel I will be struggling against it. The evidence of Christ in me is that I AM fighting.
I will let you know how it goes..praying big-time for Christ's intercession in every detail, and seeing myself fail in the meantime.. hold on for a bumpy ride as I say goodbye to legalism and learn to trust God with ALL of it..
In the meantime, I thoroughly recommend the aforementioned book. =)
I have trusted God with my life. I know that Jesus came two thousand years ago to die for my sins, and I know that only through that death and resurrection will I be able to stand righteous before God. So, I have believed. My life has changed direction, and I now desire to be like Christ. I have relinquished power over my dating life, my heathen lifestyle, and my day in and day out activities. Christ is my focus. God's kingdom is far more beautiful than anything I can obtain by my own power. I am a Christian. I am saved, and I am secure.
I have made it through big time temptation, and I have been declared victorious.So, why, WHY, do I lose my temper when I don't feel like I am being respected? Why do I get so easily annoyed and impatient with people, and why am I anxious when I don't have a good night at work? I don't feel very Christ-like when these things happen. In fact, I feel so ugly on the inside that I wonder how in the world can I be regenerated? But, I know I am..I have seen my desires change and I have seen my life re-orient to be lived for God. So, where is the disconnect? Am I faithful in big things but not in the small?
God has been working to reveal some answers to me in this area of my life. It has been really frustrating..not matter how many times I say "ok, I'm not going to complain today because that's not being a good witness" or "I am going to love people no matter what today", it never seems to work. I can hold it together for a little while, but then I just end up not being able to keep it up and I feel horrible about myself. Like a failure.
So enter book: "You Can Change"(God's transforming power for our sinful behavior and negative emotions)" by Tim Chester, who co-authored another favorite of mine, "Total Church". I would like to share a couple of key quotes I have come across so far.
"Our Christian lives began when we received the Spirit by believing in Christ crucified, not when we finally managed to observe the law. It's foolish to think that we can now take over finish the job through human effort. It's not just that trying to live by laws and disciplines is useless- it's a backwards step-which ends up undermining grace and hope."
"When the crowd asks Jesus what God expects of them he replies "This is the only work God wants from you. Believe in the one he has sent."
I think I finally understand this! It is not just believing He was God then, or in the future, but trusting in His power to metamorphasize ME- not by my strength but by the continual realization that I am completely dependent on His strength and grace- EVERY DAY- Believing in this SENT one- I know He is Lord- but I have been so disappointed in my heart- it yearns to be like Christ but fails miserably- I need faith in everyday things- HIS power- mini-miracles of victory and surrender only by the working of the Holy Spirit. This is freedom. This is "the only work" God wants because it is the only way- we will not change from our own efforts- it is IMPOSSIBLE. I have been trusting in God only for outcomes, not for the day-in, day-out grind of Christian life. I have not asked, not continually, for strength and wisdom in the million small decisions and reactions I face everyday-the decisions and reactions that shape bigger days and the way that others see Christ through me. I have realized my ineptitude on a grand scale but neglected to address the gross selfishness and dissatisfaction in them minutia of life. I thought I could handle them on my own..but I CAN'T. Not like Christ. I can only do them my way.
So, it is time to address my heart. It is time to see where I am not loving God, where I am not believing his Word..because if "ALL THINGS" work together for the good of those who are loved and are called according to his purpose (Jer 29:11), then I need to trust God. I believe that He rose from the dead, but I don't expect that He can help me be kind to those who are not kind to me. I believe that He has the BEST plan for my life, but that complaining is okay because I don't deserve to have a bad day (surely, THAT can't be in His plan). My sin here has been abiding with small rebellions and also with unforgiveness..for myself and for others. My heart is at its core legalistic and as long as I haven't been "sinning" I am doing ok, even though my attitude may stink. But if I do mess up, boy do I feel it. I haven't understood grace, or the fact that I am at best a wretched sinner and can't be like Christ on my own, not only as I have acknowledged on the big scale, but in the tiniest upsets or interactions..I need GRACE. I need it for myself and for others. I need to understand that I'm not a sinner because I sin, but I sin because I'm a sinner. It is a fatal disease, and until I leave this earthly vessel I will be struggling against it. The evidence of Christ in me is that I AM fighting.
I will let you know how it goes..praying big-time for Christ's intercession in every detail, and seeing myself fail in the meantime.. hold on for a bumpy ride as I say goodbye to legalism and learn to trust God with ALL of it..
In the meantime, I thoroughly recommend the aforementioned book. =)
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