Bible study tonight was rough.

I have issues with Happy, Healthy, Wealthy philosophies. I don't really think that God calls everyone to have good health, money, and easy times when they become Christians.

I went to a conference with Heather on Friday. The speaker was Creflo Dollar. I was a bit leary of him because I was afraid it was just going to be a show, but he was a good speaker. I was a little amused when he shouted "Somebody say power" and "Say Hallelujah twice". Whatever. I may not be used to it, but there is nothing wrong with being demonstrative. It was when he said "Turn to your neighbor and say 'I'll never be broke another day in my life'" that I got my feathers a little ruffled. He is obviously a devoted servant of the Lord, but that part did NOT sit well with me.

I expressed that I didn't agree with that to Heather and her mom, and while they agreed that not everyone was called to be wealthy, they did agree that God wants to bless his people financially. I just don't know how I feel about that. I agree with this verse out of Proverbs 30:

8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread

I feel that it takes a lot of spiritual maturity to handle having money without it damaging your relationship with God, and I honestly at this point in my life want desperately to never forget from whom my help comes from.

I know that God blesses and protects his children. I don't always think it is monetarily. I know that Paul was a man after God's heart, and that he lived a life full of danger and severe persecution. I envy his relationship with and his dedication to serving God.

Heather, Tiffany and I were the only ones at Bible study tonight, and Tiffany asked about the Creflo Dollar conference, and I told her that I liked it, and that he was funny, but that I wasn't sure I agreed with everything he said. Heather got frustrated with me because she knew that part of my hesitation came from a conversation that I had with my friend Julie the day after the conference, and Julie kind of affirmed what I was feeling about the money issue. That doesn't mean that she's right or that I'm right.

Maybe I don't have enough faith in God. Maybe I feel like I am not spiritual if I have money when so many others don't, or that I want to have a relationship with God where it doesn't matter what I have as long as I am living in his will. All I know is that I got very defensive and I really wanted to walk out when we were talking tonight because I felt a little ganged up on (Tiffany was agreeing with Heather).

I will be in the Scriptures about it, and just to let you know, we were able to get past being confrontational. I am open to revising my way of thinking if it means living God's best for my life. I know that God's best is not what the world would call "best". I pray that God would open my eyes and direct me to his heart on this matter.