Monday, February 23, 2009

If I leaned on my own understanding, I'd be on the floor alot

The Saga Continues..

So, my weekend was fun. I installed a new hard drive in my computer because the old one crashed, and by the way, I may not be able to access my pictures, music, or the first few pages of the book I am working on.

On Friday night a friend of mine/coworker had a gig playing his guitar and singing at a local bar/restaurant. I seldom go out with the crew from work, but I love music and I wanted to show support, so I went. Babs from my Bible study went with me, and we had a fun time talking, laughing, and listening to some pretty good music. They played a decent mix, most songs that I've heard, and some original music that my friend Steve actually wrote himself. The show was early (six-ish) so my coworkers started trickling in around six-thirty or seven. My friend whom I have written about before came. He came over and sat with me and Babs. I knew he would be there, but I also knew that he was seeing someone and I thought he was bringing her. Apparently they were fighting so she didn't come. She used to work with me a couple years ago, but he didn't meet her until after she had quit, probably through mutual friends. They have been seeing each other for a couple weeks. About an hour and a half after he got there, she came. And sat with us. And I felt awkward. Because he told me last week that maybe she could be his intermittent girlfriend, since he wasn't ready to live a completely Christian life. I told him, no thanks. Yeah, he's a winner.

Anyway, we made small talk, and she said that he had told her that maybe we could all go to church together, but he was working this weekend. So, I told her that she could come with me if she wanted to. I didn't really have any desire whatsoever to hang out with her, but I am not going to stand in the way of someone getting to know God. She said she would like to and I gave her my number. By this time, my guy friend had had too much to drink and I felt like he was being a little disrespectful to her because he was acting weird towards me, like getting mad when I was leaving, and then asking me repeatedly (with his hands on my waist, right in front of her) to come back to his house to play poker with everyone. It was really uncomfortable, and I could tell she wasn't thrilled. I went home and got into bed, thanking God that I was under his protection, and that I no longer had to be a part of that world where I was so desperate that I would do anything to fill the void. I am not empty anymore. Praise God.

Saturday I went down to Blackstone, VA to see my friend Angie's new coffee shop. It is absolutely gorgeous and I wish I had remembered to bring my camera. Angie's sister-in-law, Tiffany and I are friends and we rode down together. Tiffany is in my Tuesday night Bible study, but this is the first time we've ever hung out alone. We had a great time! We ended up spending the whole day together and we had some really good talks. We want to do a joint fast where three of us choose something to either give up or do for 40 days. The purpose would be for God to work in the hearts of specific people who are dear to us. Not that we don't want everyone to be saved, but God certainly tugs at our hearts concerning some people in our lives. I am excited about this, and I can't wait to see how God is going to be working. I have had some very obvious answer to prayer lately, and that always encourages me to keep praying.

Sunday: watched an episode of Monk with my best friend Julie while her husband tried to find files from my old hard drive. He is still working on it. Hopefully. Then, went to church with guy friend's girlfriend. I had a pretty bad attitude about it, like why is God's sense of humor so messed up? I got to know her a little better on the ride to church, and it seems as though she has matured some since we worked together. She has almost no church background, so the fact that she was willing to go with me was pretty cool. I have to tell you that it was only by God's grace that I was able to put my personal feelings aside and want her to know the Lord more than I wanted to not be around her. As I sang worship songs in a darkened auditorium next to a girl that I shouldn't be able to love, I knew my strength was coming from the Lord. It was am amazing feeling. It was a surrendered feeling. It was my soul saying yes to God and no to my selfishness. It filled me with a quiet, peaceful joy. It was freeing. I know I may sound a little dramatic, but if you how much I have struggled to get over liking this guy, you would understand why hanging with his girlfriend might be pretty hard for me.

She seemed to like the service, and..she wants to start coming to MY Tuesday night Bible study. She's going to the church's Bible study on Thursday night. I won't be able to come because I'll be working. So, if she starts coming to church regularly, I will be seeing her (and maybe him on Sundays) three times. A week. Heaven help me.

May I be willing to be used by God even when I flat-out don't feel like it. And especially when I don't understand. Because I would have NEVER chosen for things to be turning out this way..but if this is His way, I'm in. We serve an awesome God.


Edie said...

I really feel for you Angela. I don't know if I could be that gracious.

Looking at it from the outside in, it appears that God may be using you to reach her.

This very odd situation might be the thing that makes that guy notice God in a new light too.

I will say a prayer for you.

Angela said...

Thanks-I know,it's been good because I've had people pray with me for him and afterwards he "someone must be praying for me" because he was realizing that his life wasn't was pretty cool.

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

First of all, I LOVE your title! That continues to crack me up.

I can't imagine how uncomfortable that must be for you (or could be), but you are doing the right thing. This is an example of crucifying yourself, your flesh, for the Kingdom of Heaven. Our God sees, and He is pleased by your willingness to be uncomfortable for His sake.

I'm so proud of you. :-)