I was in a car accident on the way to work this morning. It was icy out, but that doesn't explain me running a red light. I guess I saw the turn signal light change to green, and maybe I was daydreaming a bit..but I clipped the back of a black SUV as it was making a left-hand turn.
It took a couple seconds for it to register that I had run the light..at first I was upset because I thought it was his fault..why was he turning? I realized that as I was going through the intersection..my light was red.
This was hard to deal with because I am a pretty cautious driver. I have never before caused a serious accident.. although I had a couple fender benders when I was younger. The feeling of shame was pretty strong as I made a u-turn and pulled up behind the man whose car I had hit. He was standing in the street talking on his
I got out of the car, ready to own up to my responsibility. He looked at me, hung up the phone, and then he asked me if I was okay. I said I was, he said he was fine, and then I asked him if my light had been green. He said no. He looked at the rear of his car and said that it didn't even looked damaged, and he didn't take my information or anything. He had compassion on me, and he was the kindest person I could have ever hoped to hit ( I have to find humor somewhere). My eyes filled with tears and I said "God is good." Maybe he was a Christian, maybe not, but God was speaking his love all over me through the kindness of this man. I drove to work sobbing from gratefulness. It could have been so much worse- and I would have deserved to face the consequences.
I find it non-coincidental that I prayed this from Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word" this morning:
"Father, help me to clothe myself with humility towards others, because You oppose the proud but give grace to the humble.(1 Peter 5:5) I will never live a day that I am not in need of Your grace, so please help me maintain an attitude that welcomes it."
Wow did I get shown grace today. It is an awful feeling to know that you have done someone else harm, no matter how unintentional. I cannot explain how it moves me that I was let off the hook, simply because of what was in that man's heart. It is but a small example of the grace God shows me every day..even when I don't think I need it. I think I will be more appreciative of it: more aware of it after this.
I went to the grocery store after being told to take the day off from work, as I looked like I had been puffing the ganja because my eyes were all red from crying. I was still, am still, a little weepy about what happened today. I stopped by Trader Joe's to pick up some stuff for the empty fridge, and while I was checking out the lady at the register asked me how my day was.
"Pretty good", I told her. It was the truth. God's love was so evident that it made a bad situation not so bad. She pushed it and asked me what I was up to today, so I told her about what had happened. She was very sweet and told me how lucky I was. I gave God a little credit. As I was signing the credit card screen, she told me to hold on. I thought it was a little strange that she was leaving the register, but who was I to argue?
She came back with a bouquet of roses and lilies and handed them to me. I almost cried right there in the store. She said she was sorry I had been in an accident.
That's God. I don't deserve kindness, or sympathy, or flowers. I deserve to have higher insurance. I could have hurt someone. God gave me forgiveness. And then he gave me flowers. That's a God I want more of.