Friday, February 12, 2010

Scary Prayers, part two

*Please read the previous post below for part one of this story*

So.. January 31. I was praying about HIM again. This time it wasn't, God, please be first in my affections, but let me love him too. I knew that once February rolled around, I wouldn't be able to think about anything else, so I asked God to give him boldness to speak to me about "us", this secret word I had been treasuring in my heart for the past six or seven months. I had been good. During the time he had dedicated to the Lord, I did the best I could not to spend time alone with him. I had girls praying for both of us to have integrity and to put our relationships with God before any earthly relationship. But I will admit, that when his Facebook profile picture was of the two of us on a mountain with him reading to me out of the Bible, it thrilled me. When I found out that one of the elders at the church (his MENTOR, to whom he TALKED) had high hopes of us getting together, I knew I was golden. But I didn't let on to him. I'm sure he knew on some level, but we were just friends. Y'all, we have the SAME COUCH. I couldn't believe that it was all finally about to come together.

So, ok, I was praying. I prayed for him to talk to me about it, and I also prayed for God to take this relationship from me if it was detrimental to OUR relationship. Because, you know, God first. I didn't want a man at the expense of my relationship with God.

That night, he texted me. We texted back and forth for about an hour, and then, I said something that he took the wrong way. He said it sounded like something you would say to someone you were dating. I definitely didn't mean it in that context. He then said that maybe he was overreacting, it's just that someone from our church had asked him earlier in the week if he was pursuing me.

My heart stopped. Ok, maybe not, but I got really nervous. It was go time. So I wrote back, "People have asked me about you as well."


Romans 11:33-36 (The Message)

33-36Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never figure it out.

Is there anyone around who can explain God?
Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do?
Anyone who has done him such a huge favor
that God has to ask his advice?

Everything comes from him;
Everything happens through him;
Everything ends up in him.
Always glory! Always praise!
Yes. Yes. Yes.


Edie said...

These cliffhangers are killing me. :) Looking forward to the next one!

I love your heart in all of this too. It's hard to live that out. I applaud you.

Jennifer said...

Wow, you just going to leave us hanging?? :) Praying for you all the way. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story!

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...


Kathy S. said...

GIRL!!!! (do you hear me scream?) You better hurry up and write again!!!