Saturday, April 19, 2008
So called out
My church meets on Saturday nights..we are not Seventh-Day adventists or anything I think they do it to give people a positive place to go on a weekend evening. On my way to church I asked God to do something in me tonight. I always want to be moved when I am at church and I usually am but I think most of the time I feel like he's not really speaking directly to me. Not so tonight.
Pastor G spoke tonight about people who truly desire to know God. They seek him out faithfully in prayer, they study His Word in earnest, and they aren't out blatantly sinning. They are able to resist the devil in most situations, and they would just generally call themselves a "good Christian." My hand is in the air right now, is yours? However, they are MISERABLE. I don't think I'm miserable ALL the time, but a good portion of my life is spent feeling dissatisfied and let down. I feel like my soul was just so exposed tonight. I LOVE the Lord so much, so why am I not full of joy all the time? Why is my happiness so dependant on my circumstances?
Pastor G was reading from the book of Isaiah and he told me why I am miserable. It is because I am searching for God whole-heartedly, but although I am obedient in certain areas, GOOD areas, there are GREAT opportunities and callings that I am missing out on.I am not clothing the poor, feeding the hungry, or binding up the broken-hearted. My relationship with God has been focused inward. I need to be taking care of others for my joy in Christ to be made full. I have to stop being lazy and selfish, and maybe a little self-righteous, because I am not fulfilling my potential ministering to only myself and my coworkers when the opportunity presents itself. Time to get out of my comfort zone.