My coworker tried to commit suicide last Thursday. He knows God, but has recently backslid into a gay lifestyle. He was driving home drunk on Thursday night and he hit something large and stationary, maybe an unoccupied semi truck. Then he pulled into a church parking lot and called his friend, our manager J. He told J to cover his shifts, that he loved him, and he just wanted to say goodbye.He hung up. J called him back, and my coworker proceeded to tell him that he was going to take his own life.He hung up again. Thank God, my manager called the police. They were able to track his phone by the GPS, and they found him just as he collapsed, coming out of the woods by the church. He had cut open his wrists with a broken cologne bottle. He is in the hospital now, and stable (physically).
What the heck?
What causes a person to just give up like that? A Christian, at that. It has shocked me. One thought I've had, trying to reason it out, is that he is tormented by living a life that is not pleasing to God, and I think it is extra hard for homosexuals to leave their sin behind, because it comes to be what defines them as people. I had to give up immorality, but it's not so bad because sex will be permissible for me, even blessed, within the confines of a godly marriage. Not so for my friend. That's one thing that may be stressing him out. I know that there must lie deeper issues, because a rational person, no matter the situation, would probably not decide that suicide was the only way out.
My coworker is a hard worker. He is very funny, and more than a little sarcastic. He is gay, but has been living chastely until very recently. His mouth has always been bad, and he smokes. Yet he claims to love God, talks about not letting the devil or people steal his joy, and he LOVES Joyce Meyer. I don't know his heart, only God does. I'm just analyzing here, because I think God has given his children a discerning spirit to recognize fruit in fellow Christians, and lack of it. I pray that he will have a close relationship with the Lord, and find strength and peace through Him.
God isn't finished with him yet. Satan didn't win this one. What will life hold for him now? Hopefully healing and love. This is going to be very difficult to get over. So painful. I don't know if he'll come back to work. He may not. All I know is that there is a reason that he is still alive, and I trust that God has not left his side, not once, through this horrible time.