I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips,
as you know, O Lord.
I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Say it loud...
I have felt God impressing upon me in the past couple days that we may not have all the time we think we have to do all the things we'll "get to" someday. For example,getting serious about sharing my faith with friends and family. My dad is a non-practicing Greek Orthodox Christian, who mailed me my Thea (Aunt) Maria's plaque of "Saint Nicksomething" and told me that if I pray to him, my prayers will be answered (especially 'cause we're related in some way). My stepmom is a non-religious Jew. Their son, my kid brother, is fourteen and I am not close to him. I don't know what he believes. I know that God has a plan for my life. He told me (audibly) that I was to move to Richmond. That conversation went like this..me on the verge of sleep and a big voice saying "Go to Richmond"..me saying "what?" and God saying "Go to Richmond". Now, I talk to myself in my head all the time, I dream all the time. This was not my voice and it was no dream. I also know that "He who has begun a great work within me will not abandon the works of his hands" (paraphrasing). But how many opportunities do I put off thinking that there's always tomorrow? I am way more vigilant in my relations with coworkers and those whose "rejection" I can handle. If my family and unsaved friends think I'm weird..it hurts. And then I feel like I'm already defeated the next time I broach the subject of God with them. What if I became a radical Christian? I know that I grow everyday in Christ. I know my hearts' desire is to glorify His name with my thoughts, motives, actions, and words..but do you believe that even with that sincere desire I still hold onto stuff? I still think that I need to be perceived as "not totally boring", and today at work I even found myself telling a story of when I wasn't a Christian with a little "hee hee I was bad" attitude. Yeah, that's a good way to be a witness. I am not on the fence, I just keep a picture of it in my back pocket. I need my life to be lived in a way that allows me to grasp every opportunity, to bring hope and light into this perpetual darkness. What is in my way? Me. I'm scared, not able, apprehensive. I have to learn to trust. I have to do one of those cliff jumps my friend Edie posted about recently (trusting God to catch me). Because I don't have all the time in the world. God appointed me for this time, for these people, and I don't want to look back and mourn opportunities lost. We are his mouth, to proclaim his mercy. Give me courage, Lord, to step out of this comfort zone and into a great adventure with you.